Another Wednesday night, another AEW show. Let’s get into my AEW Dynamite Results for 5/27/20. Last Saturday at Double or Nothing, there was some great shit and some equally horrible shit, but you don’t wanna hear about that right now. Tonight is all about the fallout from that show. After that main event last Saturday where everyone pissed on the corpse of kayfabe, what will they do next? The main hook for the night is the Inner Circle Pep Rally. Will Jericho manage to win me over again? The show starts with the Inner Circle backstage. They’re upset about their loss to Kenny and the Circle Jerks, but more importantly, they invested in a bunch of shirts that they need to offload later on.
Match #1: Joey Janella & Private Party vs. Matt Hardy & Young Bucks
What better way to start this show? I said after the Double or Nothing main event I was expecting this show to be better because I wasn’t sure how this could get any worse. While as a general rule I don’t care for any of the people in this match (Matt Hardy is good, but I hate this gimmick), this is already better since it resembles a wrestling match. Looks like I spoke too soon because these guys are going all over the arena. Hasn’t anybody told these guys not to do everything in the opening match? It leaves nothing for the stars to do. Matt Hardy tags in and he’s dressed like one of the Young Bucks for this match. Turnabout is fair play, they’ve been dressing exactly like Matt and Jeff for years now.
This is not my type of match. Lots of fast-paced moves, very little selling, and absolutely no psychology or storytelling. In short, it’s your basic Young Bucks match. I didn’t recognize Janella since he has his hair in pigtails for some reason. He still looks like shit, but now he looks more like Pippi Longstocking. The better half of the Private Party hurts himself after a suicide dive. Maybe don’t do that move anymore, it’s not called that for no reason. The lone member of the Private Party takes a bunch of finishing moves and gets pinned. This whole match looked like Matt Hardy doing trampoline gymnastics with his kids.
After this match, the Young Bucks are left in the ring alone, and Butcher and Blade show up to hit them from behind. We see another truck pulling up for a few feet, but this time it’s not Cody, it’s the former Revival! Sorry, I don’t know their new names yet. Dawson and Wilder come in and they look pissed, but they beat up Butcher and Blade instead of the Young Bucks! These two are babyfaces now?! That sucks, they’re much better heels. But this is good news! They instantly add more credibility to the AEW tag team division. The match itself was nothing special, but the Revival showing up afterward made it worth watching. I hope these guys beat the shit out of the Young Bucks.
Match #2: Brian Cage (w. Tazz) vs. Lee Johnson
Poor Lee Johnson just can’t catch a break. Lance Archer, MJF, and now this? Maybe he should rethink his career. Brian Cage wins with a weird piledriver. Jon Moxley was on commentary for this, but he didn’t say shit. Tazz gets some promo time after this match ends. Cage isn’t a man, he’s a wrecking machine. He’s gonna rip Moxley’s heart out and eat it. Tazz even let Cage have his old ECW catchphrase! They must see a lot in this guy. I don’t think he’ll beat Moxley because he JUST got there (and to be honest, I’m holding out for MJF beating Moxley), but he’s too good of an athlete not to have a good showing in their upcoming title match.
Next up is a promo on stage from a wheelchair-bound Dr. Britt Baker! What a shame. She apparently suffered a serious leg injury during the women’s tag team match last week. They need to hire more girls that know what they’re doing so their stars don’t get hurt like this. Britt Baker was finally winning me over as a heel, and now this happens?! I’m not sure how long she’ll be able to keep this up just doing promos, but I’m coming around. I want to see how she handles this adversity. She says the injury she suffered was the result of a conspiracy against her devised by her opponents! I kind of agree with this. She was finally getting over, and they ruined it out of jealousy. I’ve seen this kind of thing before. She has evidence and everything! This is impressive. She’s blaming everyone, even the lady referee. She has been getting injured a lot and that same ref just happens to be there every time…I’m not saying she’s right, but she makes some good points.
Match #3: Christi James vs. Hikaru Shida
I got confused during Shida’s entrance, I thought that was Riho making a comeback. I got excited! Everyone loves Riho! JR gives us some info on Shida’s opponent, apparently, she has a doctorate. I always like JR’s commentary just for this reason. Some might think this info is useless, but it’s supposed to make you care about the people in the ring. This other girl must be new, every time she gets the upper hand she stops to shake her ass. Didn’t anybody tell her not to turn her back on her opponent?! NOT smart wrestling! I hope MJF is on later, he’d never do something that stupid. The new girl goes to the top rope and it looks like she’s going for something big, but it’s a sunset flip. She tries for a Lionsault, but Shida kicks out at two. Shida wins with a falcon arrow. I know this match wasn’t very long, but this new girl has a lot of potential. She’s attractive and pretty agile too. I hope they keep her around!
Next up is a promo from Cody. He just beat Lance Archer at Double or Nothing, and it looks like he’s here to brag about it. I never noticed it before, but that belt looks a lot like the Universal title. Cody has the nerve to compare himself to Tom Brady in this promo. Ok, that’s it for Cody. I was already on the fence about him, but he has no right to compare himself to my quarterback. He’s dripping with arrogance here and I can’t stand it.
Match #4: Jimmy Havok & Kip Sabian vs. SCU
This match opens with Sabian and Jimmy Havok trying to tag-team Kazarian, and they can’t even pull it off successfully! There’s just no hope for this team. Havok is useless and Sabian’s girl can beat him up. I didn’t even know these guys were teaming up until now! When did this happen? Kazarian is looking really good in this match until Sabian takes a cheap shot while the referee is distracted. That little weakling can’t beat win a match without his girl fighting his battles for him. She does the heavy lifting half the time. After going two on one for a few minutes, Sabian is in control now.
We come back from commercial and Kazarian is taking the heat. Sorry about this Kazarian, you deserve better. Scorpio Sky tags in to clean up. He goes for a dragon sleeper on Sabian, but Havok makes the save. Now we have all four guys in the ring, but I still caught Sabian messing up his spot with Kazarian. Sabian gets shitcanned to the outside and SCU goes for their tag team finish, but Sabian’s girl gets involved and Sabian and Havok steal the win. Sabian’s got a lot of growing up to do in the ring.
Next up is a pre-recorded promo from my boy MJF! He’s been undefeated for like a year, and he’s rightfully pissed that he hasn’t sniffed a title match since he showed up. So am I, but I guess MJF didn’t go to high school with the right group of people so he doesn’t get preferential treatment around here. Good things there’s a battle royal for a TNT title match coming up in just a few minutes! They should just give MJF a title match against Cody since he beat him several months ago. Wardlow will be there too! This will be a great night for MJF!
Match #5: TNT Championship Battle Royal
MJF is out first, because he’s the star of this thing. Cody better look out, MJF already beat him once just for the fun of it. The rest of the competitors didn’t get TV entrances, so that’s a good sign for my boy. MJF is hanging out in the corner. Wardlow’s paying dividends blocking for him. MJF’s taking cheap shots on all the underneath guys after they get thrown out. BRILLIANT!
Is that Bad Ass Billy Gunn?! Colt Cabana and a couple of other guys have been thrown out. It’s important to note that Jungle Boy and his people are also involved in this match. We come back from commercial and most of the underneath guys are out of there. Wardlow’s killing it in this match! The only one who can stand up to him is Luchasaurus. As if on cue, Luchasaurus goes after MJF and Wardlow’s not having it. Billy Gunn and Luchasaurus tangle in the middle. Wow man, I never realized how big Billy Gunn was. They’re dangerously close to the ropes and MJF dumps them both out. What an opportunist!
The only ones left are Jungle Boy, MJF, Wardlow, and Pockets. MJF goes after Pockets, but Pockets dodges and Jungle Boy dumps MJF out! NOOOOOOO! NOT LIKE THIS! Wardlow gets dumped out too?! Where did I go wrong?! The last two are Jungle Boy and Pockets. Why can’t I ever win? I just can’t have nice things. This crowd just doesn’t deserve MJF and Wardlow. Jungle Boy takes out Pockets Rey Mysterio style and this match is over. I guess Jungle Boy gets Cody next week.
Main Event: Inner Circle Pep Rally (featuring Vickie Guerrero)
That’s right, the Inner Circle is here, accompanied by cheerleaders and Vickie Guerrero, who’s been recruited to do the individual intros for the group. I guess things are tough all over. They may not have won, but Sammy Guevara got them all some kick-ass participation trophies. Jericho gets Sammy a scooter so he doesn’t have to bop around on crutches like a dick. Hager reads a poem he wrote himself. Jericho says he wants Mike Tyson’s head on a platter. Sammy meets him halfway and gets him a plate of various cheeses.
They said Mike Tyson’s name three times, and here he is! Jericho tries to bow up to Tyson, but he looks terrified. Apparently Tyson knocked out Jericho ten years ago. I don’t remember it, but Jericho wants an apology. Everybody shows up to break this thing up before it gets out of hand. Good thing they all showed up, Jericho didn’t stand a chance.
My Final Thoughts on AEW (5/27/2020)
This show had really good pacing, I couldn’t believe how fast that first hour went by! It was also nice to see Tyson get physical. For what they’re paying him, I’m surprised it took him this long to get in the ring. Having said that, I also have some negative thoughts. What the hell happened with that battle royal? MJF was the only logical choice to win and he got screwed! That match hurt my feelings. I go to bat for him every week and Pockets ends up having a hand in his elimination from this thing. This should factor very nicely into my appearance on RSH tomorrow! We’re getting to the bottom of this nonsense once and for all. This crowd doesn’t deserve MJF or Wardlow. He should go somewhere else where they won’t hold him back. Tune into RSH tomorrow if you want to hear my live, unedited thoughts about this match, as well as everything else AEW has perpetrated on the wrestling world in the last week. I thought the Double or Nothing main event was a disgrace, but this is even worse. I think they might have a monkey booking this show at this point. A monkey would probably have better logic. I’m so pissed!