Monday Night RAW Review 3/23/2020 by Anthony S. DiSalvatore
Hello everybody, and welcome to yet another Monday Night RAW review on AEE.com! That’s right everybody, after a short hiatus and a conditional gentleman’s agreement with the editor-in-chief, I’m back to offer you more thoughts and opinions on your favorite weekly wrestling programs! Not much to tease in the opener this week, due to the current pandemic. Let’s see what happens!
The show opens with a promo by Paul Heyman and his man, Brock Lesnar! What can I say about this? It’s more Paul Heyman doing Paul Heyman things, but it’s getting repetitive at this point. This is why it’s better to have Brock on once in a while instead of every week. We’ve all heard everything he’s said already at this point. Having said that, I still believe Drew McIntyre doesn’t stand a chance at Wrestlemania. He may have landed a few cheap shots, but he’s never pinned the champ.
Triple threat replay
The next segment is the match between Seth Rollins, John Cena, and defending champion, Brock Lesnar from Royal Rumble 2015! This has nothing to do with the match itself, but I just want to say that 2015 heel Seth Rollins is the best version of Seth Rollins. This match is worth watching just to see Brock suplex both members of J&J Security at the same time. Let’s move on.
After a ridiculous amount of video segments showing us various events from the last two weeks, AJ Styles is out next. He stops on the stage for a reason and goes into another promo on the Undertaker.
I didn’t like it two weeks ago, I didn’t like it last week, and I don’t like it now. Styles sounds like a typical kid on a wrestling message board talking over his head.
AJ and friends bring up some stuff Undy said on Youtube and says some mean stuff about his wife. Basically, a repeat of the last two promos he’s done.
AJ challenges Undertaker to a Boneyard Match at Wrestlemania. I don’t know what the rules are for this thing, but it sounds like a Buried Alive match.
We’re an hour in and I’m falling asleep! Things aren’t about to get much better. We’re joined backstage by Andrade and Angel Garza. These two again? At least Zelina Vega is here too, and she really knows her way around a promo. This is the only positive I can find in this nonsense. Zelina deserves so much better. This show BADLY needs Randy Orton.
Match #1: Andrade & Angel Garza (w. Zelina Vega) vs. Ricochet & Cedric Alexander
UGH. How many times do I have to see this team wrestle in a row? Andrade and Angel Garza try to get the jump on Ricochet before the match starts, but it doesn’t work.
The Street Prophets show up on commentary to try and put some life into this match. I’m already tired, so Montez Ford is the last thing I want to hear right now.
I won’t complain about how long this match was since I know they’re having to stall for time. Andrade FINALLY wins a match with his running back elbow. The Zelina Vega Outfit Watch continues! This week, she’s dressed like a librarian or something. It’s a nice look for her.
Match #2: Street Prophets (Profits?) vs. ???
I’ve never seen these other two guys before and I didn’t catch their names. I know they’re from NXT, but that doesn’t help me since I don’t watch it. Montez Ford is really getting on my nerves tonight. The second guy on the NXT team looks to have something to him. He’s a big man, about 6’5 and looks to be around 280. If nothing else, he is massive, so I’m giving him a vote of confidence.
The Street Prophets win this match in short order with a combination spinebuster/mega frog splash. Ford got some height on that thing! The smaller guy on the heel team took the cover at least.
R-Truth recaptures his 24/7 title from Riddick Moss
Next up is a sit-down promo with Shayna Baszler. She’s a woman of few words, but she wrecked every other girl in the Elimination Chamber match, so there you go. She’s not there to talk, she’s there to kick ass! I totally believe in her. Shayna takes control of this interview and says she’ll win the title at Wrestlemania just to prove a point to Becky.
We just CAN’T have a RAW anymore without Becky Lynch getting some face time! She hits Shayna from behind with a steel chair. Wow, she’s so tough! Side note: Shayna was wearing a Mike Tyson shirt! Nice to see. Moving on. You know what would really save this show? Another Aleister Black match!
Match #3: Aleister Black vs. Leon Ruff
Aleister steps to the middle of the ring and sits down. His opponent is confused, but not deterred. He takes his shot but misses and gets the Kick of Death. Game over. At least there’s not another post-match promo this week!
Seth Rollins delivers the TRUTH!!
Kevin Owens is out next for a promo. It just gets better and better! He calls out Seth Rollins and spares us from another diatribe.
Rollins is here minus AOP. Seth is profoundly confused by the idea that Kevin can beat him in the Performance Center just on the basis that Kevin trained there. I’m with you, Seth. How could Seth have trained in the Performance Center when it didn’t even exist when he was first in the developmental program?
Seth says he made sacrifices so people like Kevin could have a chance too. It all makes perfect sense! Rollins was the first NXT champion, and it can be argued that NXT wouldn’t have taken off the way it did if Seth hadn’t been the top guy at that time. So why would Kevin challenge Rollins at Wrestlemania, especially considering Seth’s record at the show of shows?! Seth has beaten all of his opponents at Wrestlemania so far, and Kevin hasn’t won once. As a matter of fact, Owens wasn’t even on the card last year! The history and the numbers are on Seth’s side for this one. Kevin’s gonna get wrecked!
Women’ Championship Replay
The next segment is the women’s championship match from a couple of Wrestlemanias ago between Charlotte and Asuka. I don’t have much to say about it, it’s not my thing. If you really want to see it, just find it on the network!
Next! Charlotte is backstage for a promo. That’s great news. She’s still talking about beating Asuka years after the fact. She basically invented women’s wrestling so Rhea Ripley doesn’t stand a chance against her at Wrestlemania. I don’t think so! I have Rhea winning that one.
Orton claims he’s misunderstood. He wasn’t coming from a place of anger when he tried to kill Edge, he was honestly trying to do the right thing. I believe him!
Edge is an egomaniac, but he is right about one thing, Orton was given a chance based on his last name. Of course, that doesn’t guarantee the success Orton has earned in his career. Orton never had to spend 10 years on the injured list, because he’s always been there. He’s accomplished everything, and he’s still going.
Why blame Randy for trying to take Edge out when Edge would have done the same thing at one point in his career? Have we suddenly forgotten all the devious things Edge is responsible for? Randy says Edge may be the writer of this story, but he’s about to write the last chapter. Orton’s promos have been awesome lately.
These two guys have been the top rivalry on the show! Nobody cares about Andrade and all those guys, it’s all Orton and Edge right now.
My Final Thoughts on RAW (3/23/2020)
Not much to talk about for this show, it was mostly recaps. Really good promo work by Orton and Rollins. I’m most looking forward to Orton and Edge at Wrestlemania. After this show, I could do without the Street Prophets for a couple of weeks. We’ll see what happens next week.