Welcome to another High End Gaming video game review on All Everything Entertainment. Buckle your fucking seat belt and hold on to your dog’s tits because it’s time for a review, you dirty scoundrel.
Y’all come on down to the Valley of Stardew for a ruckus filled lifetime of adventure, where the people are scumbags and they hate free shit, and the single homeless guy in the town has to hunt seagulls for his stomach butter. On the sunny shores of Stardew, the sky is the limit, but that limit consists of how many plants you want to grow, animals you want to finger blast, and decided times you want your avatar to get divorced as you fuck every single person in the valley.
Stardew Valley is a basic farming simulator with adventure and social aspects added to the gaming experience. At the start of the game, your dead grandpa gives your character his farm after he kicks the bucket. In an attempt to flee city-life and evade the police for a few murders you may have committed, your grandpa’s farm is a solid inheritance. We’re not saying that’s the backstory of the main character, but with a quick and simple character creation prompt in the game’s tutorial, we decided our avatar was a sexy murderer who sought bloodless pastures.
This video game came into the lives of High End Gaming after a very violent time period, and we decided when the relaxation mode of the day was activated, the video games played need not be violent, gore-ridden masterpieces. That in our hearts, the capacity for the concept known as ‘casual gaming’ held purchase, and we needed to be calm of body and mind for… grave occurrences… uh… occur when a gamer games too hard. After all, we at High End Gaming and All Everything Entertainment love chill sessions. And drugs. We love drugs a lot. Just kidding if any police are reading. Fun fact, Stardew Valley has no police.
Stardew was a great break from ordinary/mainstream gaming and the mechanics SV involved in the planting, harvesting, and selling of crops was a welcome challenge that often stole hours from the day in real life. After years of mass indie-gaming success, the developer of Stardew Valley added multiplayer online which made for a wonderous experience with friends who could come help on the farm, develop personal NPC relationships in town, and engage in a battle to the depths of the Stardew Valley mine where hiedous monsters lurked.
Last review we gave Donkey Kong Country a 10/10, and that was a bit of a ‘tribute’ to elder gaming greatness. This will be a true and honest review, objective, and even a little bit sensitive. We give Stardew Valley a 8.9/10 as the greatest farming simulator in the ether, as well as one of the greatest indie titles to have graced the universe.
Do yourself a favor, give this game a chance and an honest try. It may be off to a slow roll at first, but sometimes after a long day of working at a job you hate, you want to just sit down and play a game where you work the entire time. It’s like, less than $20. Don’t be a fucking little bitch. Buy Stardew Valley.