WWE Raw Results June 8th just another Monday night, and another wrestling show! This week, we’ll see more build for the best wrestling match ever! Edge and Christian will be on later, but they better look out because I’m positive Randy Orton will be lurking somewhere nearby. We’ll also hear once again from Bobby Lashley and MVP after Bobby laid out Drew at the end of the show last week. But before any of that happens, the show opens with a girl’s match!
Or so we thought. Asuka comes out first, but she doesn’t get far before she’s interrupted by Bayley and Sasha Banks! That’s right, they only just won the women’s tag team titles and as such, they’re allowed to go anywhere they want! Speaking of going wherever they want at any time, Charlotte’s here to brag about being on all the shows. Couldn’t tell you what she said, I spaced out. I’ve seen enough of her for the day already. I spent a lot of my early morning catching up on what happened last night at NXT Takeover, and I’m disappointed that they needed to have Charlotte there in the first place when the rest of their ladies roster is super talented as is. Give the other girls a chance!
The IIconics show up to say some stuff, but Charlotte stomps all over it before they even get a chance to talk. Does she really need to be out there chewing up the scenery when she’s already done everything on every single program? Things break down into a brawl very quickly, and now we have our first match of the night.
Match #1: Bayley & Sasha vs. Iconics vs. Charlotte & Asuka
Oh goody, a triple threat tag team girls match to start the show! How’d they know that’s EXACTLY what I was waiting for? In case you don’t know, I always hate these matches because they always end up being complete chaos no matter who’s involved. Having said that, I’ll be happy if anybody but Charlotte wins. I’m starting to understand why Josh DeBord hates Charlotte so much. All this exposure to her is giving me a headache. Pockets is already giving me night terrors, this is the last thing I need. Feels like I’m caught in a nightmare where Charlotte’s in every match after the Takeover show this morning! I seriously don’t want to see her wrestle or talk or anything ever again.
You guys ever seen Groundhog Day? Basically the plot is Bill Murray keeps reliving the same day over and over again. That’s how I feel with Charlotte at this point. She’s in every single girl’s match, she always wins, all her promos are the same. It’s giving me a headache. Frankly, I’m too tired and pissed off to bore you with the small details of this match, so I’ll just skip to the end to save myself the headache. Asuka wins via submission on Billie Kay, right before Charlotte comes in and knocks her out for no good reason.
They were tag team partners. But Charlotte just CAN’T let anyone else have the spotlight, which I presume is the same reason why she’s in NXT right now when she has no reason to be there. Glad that’s over. I’m sorry for ever implying Josh DeBord had a crush on Charlotte, I totally understand now why he reacts this way when she shows up on EVERY SINGLE SHOW. I need an aspirin.
More Promo Time For Rey
After that opening, we’re seconds away from Rey Mysterio getting more promo time, and Seth Rollins comes out to join the commentary team and speak to Mysterio directly. More importantly, I’m pretty sure Charlotte won’t be anywhere near this segment! We get another update on Rey’s injured eye. The prognosis is good, but he’s not medically cleared yet. Rey says he’ll give Seth Rollins a 619 as soon as he’s able. How’s that gonna happen? If Seth avoids the second rope (or better yet, never enters the ring, to begin with), it can’t ever happen. It’s the most preposterous move ever! This doesn’t go on much longer before Aleister Black jumps Rollins out of nowhere at the commentary table. That’s a bitch move Aleister. You can’t just attack someone while he’s distracted like that and then act like you’re tough.
Match #2: Buddy Murphy & Austin Theory vs. Aleister Black & Humberto Carrillo
Sorry, but I don’t care about anyone in this match. Neither does Aleister Black, who tries for the Kick of Death rather quickly, but can’t connect. It looks like he’s trying to get out of here as soon as possible. He gives Buddy Murphy a jumping kick to the chops and it’s over. Wow, what was that about? All this mediocrity must be getting to Black by now. Rey Mysterio’s music plays, but it’s all a ruse. Seth Rollins shows up wearing Rey Mysterio’s mask and beats up on Aleister Black with the help of his men.
Next up is a promo from Randy Orton! Super exciting! He’s not here to answer any questions, he just wants to know if Edge will be Christian’s only guest on his talk show this week. The hot interviewer chick confirms this, then Randy basically implies he might show up. Called it! He told her to keep it a secret, but he’s on national TV saying that. I’m confused, but since it’s Randy Orton, I’ll give him a pass. Especially if he does something badass to Edge later! He’s been asking for it for months now. I had to say something nice about Adam Ejaz after Orton lost at the Royal Rumble thanks to Edge, so I’ve been waiting for MONTHS for Randy to get some payback!
The Peep Show: Starring Edge and Christian! (and Randy Orton, probably)
Christian wastes no time introducing Edge, then he tells him to his face he doesn’t think Edge has much left. That’s rich considering Edge has pulled off a successful comeback pushing 50 when Christian hasn’t done shit in about ten years now. Edge looks like he’s about to go after him! Suddenly these two are face to face and about to come to blows! Christian makes some personal comments about Edge’s mother?! What the hell was that about? These two are supposed to be friends and Christian ambushes him like this? That’s a lot of talk for someone who needs Edge to give him a ride home.
Orton interrupts this love fest on the big screen and says he’ll break Edge physically and mentally at Backlash, but at least we all saw that coming. Don’t know what Christian’s going on about over there, he must be all jacked up on green tea or something. Good thing Edge didn’t rock his shit right then, because we all know for a fact he totally could have.
Match #3: Kevin Owens vs. Andrade vs. Angel Garza
For the record, the winner of this match gets to fight Apollo Crews for the US title. It may be a triple threat, but Andrade and Garza have been running together for a while now, so it’s essentially a handicap match. In my view, Kevin’s best chance to win this will be to try and drive a wedge between these guys, but he decides to just attack them during their entrance. It’s a bold strategy, let’s see it pays off for him.
Shortly after the bell rings, Kevin’s getting double-teamed. Called it! Kevin tries to beat Andrade with a CRUSHING rollup while Garza rips off his pants, but it doesn’t work. This guy should really worry about what happens in the ring instead of adjusting his pants. Pretty nice double suplex on Kevin, but now the heels are fighting amongst themselves. Zelina Vega better do her job! To her credit, she really tries, but she’s too small to break them up and shoved down HARD! I want to believe that was accidental, but there was a lot of force behind that. I think they did it on purpose. Shame on you both! Nobody would care about either of you if she weren’t around!
Upon further review, it looks like Andrade was the one who shoved her down. Zelina Vega isn’t at ringside anymore, so I’ve checked out of this thing. For the record, I didn’t care for her outfit this week, but she’s still the prettiest girl in all of wrestling. Garza and Andrade engage in a slap fight after Owens goes down. Owens recovers and gives Garza the stunner, but Andrade breaks the pin and steals the victory! He’ll get another opportunity at the US title he held for far too long this Sunday at Backlash!
VIP Lounge: Starring Bobby Lashley! (and Drew McIntyre?!)
Yes, you read that right! Bobby Lashley was supposed to be out here first, but Drew McIntyre interrupted the proceedings and here he is trying to be funny again. What’s the deal with Drew’s promos lately? They’re all over the place! One time he’ll be serious and it’s great, then the next week he’ll try to make everyone laugh and it makes no sense. Wildly inconsistent at best. Lashley shows up and Drew punks out MVP AGAIN before the Vikings and the Street Prophets show up.
Match #4: Bobby Lashley & MVP vs. Viking Raiders
Here’s a chance for Bobby to look really good right before his title match! I sure hope they don’t screw this up! MVP’s taking all the heat in the early going. This is not a strong start, but I’m willing to wait until Bobby gets tagged in. He finally does and he immediately slam dunks the smaller Viking. MVP’s suddenly overcome with confidence and tags right back in. I don’t blame him when he has a guy like Bobby for a partner. The Street Prophets are yelling in the background and it’s very distracting. I could really live without them at this point. Understandably, Bobby and MVP are distracted by all this noise and go down to shut them up, but it’s all a setup so they can get hit with a suicide dive.
We come back from commercial to see some good tag teamwork from Lashley and MVP, but it’s immediately ruined by Lana getting a promo in the middle of the match. Fortunately for me, my mute button works perfectly fine so I didn’t hear a word she said. They’re clearly trying to distance Bobby from this ill-fated wedding thing, especially since Rusev isn’t even here anymore, but if you keep putting Lana anywhere near Lashley on this program, people will know. Am I missing something? Just take Lana off TV entirely! She can join the club with Charlotte and the Dick Guy and Pockets. I was so distracted by Lana’s involvement I lost track of what was happening. Bobby wins with the full nelson.
Match #5: Charlotte vs. Asuka
What better way to end this show? There’s about half an hour left and this show has literally started and ended with Charlotte. You can imagine how overjoyed I am with this concept. Just so this doesn’t get too out of hand, Bayley and Sasha are here on commentary. Sorry, Sasha, I’d love to hear you talk, but this show’s been on mute since Lana came on and I’m not touching the button again. I’m afraid she might come back. We take a brief commercial break, and we come back when Asuka is in control, but we all know Charlotte’s much too powerful for the average mortal.
This match suddenly goes to the outside, because we just can’t have a match that doesn’t go to the outside anymore, and Charlotte’s winning again. Suddenly, the Iconics come out of the audience and attack Sasha and Bayley at the announce table! Where’d that come from? Too bad they didn’t go after Charlotte, but who am I kidding? They wouldn’t stand a chance!
Peyton Royce looks amazing in that outfit by the way. After ANOTHER commercial break in this seemingly endless match, Charlotte is STILL winning. I’ve had enough of Charlotte for months at this point. Let’s just skip to the end. Nia Jax shows up for some reason and distracts Asuka. Charlotte wins with a big boot. Wow man, she didn’t even need the Figure 4 that time. Nia Jax comes in and gives Asuka a Samoan drop with about 20 seconds of show time left. Sorry, Nia, they had to give Charlotte an hour of the show tonight. This match alone took half an hour. I think that’s enough.
My Final Thoughts on RAW (6/8/2020)
My Final Thoughts on RAW (6/8/2020) Aside from the stuff with the Street Prophets and Vikings, this show wasn’t terrible! Of course, I’m not including Charlotte in that. I wish she’d get lost at sea for several years. With all the talented girls they have on the show and in developmental that they could call on at any given time, why bother giving Charlotte AN HOUR of face time when we all see her enough? She’s on every single program! But because I’m not an entirely negative person, I really liked the promo segment between Edge and Orton again. Christian wasn’t needed there, I’m not sure what he was even doing. All I know is it’ll be a very awkward ride home for him after what he said about Edge’s mom. Will Christian make it home all right? Tune in next week and find out!