Hello everybody, and welcome to another overly-detailed WWE Money in the Bank Results and Review. After a short but much needed self-imposed sabbatical, I’m here once again to give you my thoughts and opinions! I’m feeling totally recharged, and more importantly EXCITED for this show. In the interest of full disclosure, I’ve been totally out of the loop for the last week. I’ve watched nothing except for MJF’s promo from last Wednesday’s Dynamite. I just love that boy! So, I’m going into this show with no idea what to expect. This should be fun! As an added bonus, I’ll be covering tonight’s pre-show matches.
Pre-Show Match: Jeff Hardy vs. Cesaro
Here we have the standard battle of strength, power, and technique vs. high-flying nonsense. If you’ve been following Cesaro, he hasn’t won a match for about six years. I expected Sheamus to get the nod for this one, but if he can’t show up, his good friend Cesaro will be more than happy to oblige. Nice bit of continuity there. Good to see Sheamus and Cesaro are still on good terms. It doesn’t take long for this match to go on the outside. When it comes to in-ring ability, Jeff can’t touch Cesaro. He has to go out there to have the advantage. He tries some more high-flying nonsense, but Cesaro counters with brute strength. He’s always so smooth in there! Don’t forget, back when Cesaro had a first name he was US champion for about eight months. It may have been a while since he had a meaningful singles victory, but he is no joke.
Jeff gets thrown HARD into the ringside area, and he’s clearly having trouble breathing after that. Cesaro is taking him to school! I don’t know where Sheamus is, but I know he’s proud of his friend. Cesaro goes with the old standard, the European uppercut. I don’t care how resilient Jeff is, he won’t know where he is after a few of those. Cesaro decides to give up on the technical approach and decides to moose handle, Jeff. Great idea! If you have the size and power to pull it off, I say go for it! Nothing works better than clubbing your opponent like a baby seal. Jeff Hardy goes for his flying whatever, but he comes down on Cesaro’s knee and it looks like he’s really hurt. I’ve always said Jeff shouldn’t do that move. Cesaro goes back to the uppercuts, but Jeff gives him the Twist of Fate. It’s not enough! This is the best Cesaro has looked all year! Jeff goes to the top, but Cesaro blocks him and hucks him across the ring like a sack of potatoes. Neutralizer time, but Jeff blocks. Come on Cesaro! You can do this!
Jeff is looking all kinds of beat up right now. He can’t hang much longer, and we all know Cesaro can go forever. Cesaro decides it’s time to fight dirty and goes for the whip into the stairs. BRILLIANT! Jeff blocks and sends Cesaro flying. Looks like he hurt his knee again. Oh no! Jeff throws Cesaro back into the ring and climbs to the top for the Flippity Flop and the win. Bummer. Shouldn’t have went to the outside Cesaro. That’s not your game! Keep it in the ring next time. Moving on!
Match #1: New Day vs. Lucha House Party vs. Forgotten Sons vs. Miz & Johnny
Great, a fatal four-way tag team match for the Smackdown tag team titles. I’ve never been into these things. They always try to have some semblance of rules, but the match always breaks down into a brawl. Too many moving parts. It’s just not my thing. Having said that, I have Miz and Johnny winning this thing. The match starts with two guys in the ring and they’re both able to tag anyone they want. I once saw the New Age Outlaws win a match like this in 1999 by pinning each other. It’s a single fall match, no elimination rules. I like the way the Forgotten Sons look, but I can’t understand what their gimmick is. I really like Jackson Ryker, it’s a shame he’s only been put out there as a manager so far. Johnny and Metalik both dive to the outside and everybody’s down. The Forgotten Sons take control now and they’re looking good, I just don’t understand their thing. I like the way they work in the ring, but what’s the point of being really good if everybody’s just going to forget you?
This match is a lot of fast-paced moves and very little storytelling, so I won’t bore you with all the little details. Every team in this match gets an equal chance to look impressive with their tag team offense. Gran Metalik might be the MVP of this thing. Big E goes for a running move to the outside, but Ryker pulls down the rope and Big E crashes down to the floor. The ref throws him out! What the hell man? There are no disqualifications in this thing! Big E and Kofi get the win over the Luchas after Ryker gets thrown out. I’m not happy about it, but at least they didn’t pin Miz this time.
Match #2: R-Truth vs. MVP
Truth and MVP start this thing by having a weird talk about how to properly shoot a jump shot. Bobby Lashley interrupts and he’s had enough. MVP leaves and this thing is academic from the beginning. Truth may be very entertaining, but he can’t stand up against Lashley. Also, I couldn’t help but notice MVP was announced at 275 pounds! Has he put on some weight or what?! Bobby’s pissed about something that happened last week, but I couldn’t tell you what it is. Spear to R-Truth and this thing is over. He got all of that one!
Match #3: Bayley (w. Sasha Banks) vs. Tamina
This is the match we’ve all been waiting for! Are you guys on the Tamina Train like I am?! Bayley tries to get smart in the beginning, but Tamina’s not having it. She’s been here for 12 years and it’s time Tamina got her due. Bayley’s able to get the upper hand by working the leg. I know Sasha and Bayley are friends, but I can’t help but feel like there’s some tension between them they haven’t really addressed yet. I still say it’s time for Tamina to have a chance at the title. 14 years she’s been here, and she gets no respect. Tamina tries to mount a comeback with headbutts, but her knee is totally hurt. Tamina sets up for the superkick, but Bayley applies a UFC-style kneebar. Tamina won’t submit and this thing continues. Tamina’s got this, I just know it! Bayley tries to pull off a body slam, but she can’t hold Tamina up and she gets smashed. What a dumbass! You can’t just throw Tamina around!
Bayley suddenly feels very thirsty and takes some water from the announcers. She takes a sip and throws the rest in a prone Tamina’s face. She’s done it now! Samoan drop attempt, but Bayley manages to escape. She doesn’t get far before Tamina throws her into the announce booth. I’m impressed, Bayley got some air on that one. Tamina goes for the Samoan drop to end this thing once and for all, but Sasha provides a momentary distraction. Yet another Samoan drop attempt, but this time Bayley’s able to turn it into a pinning combination and she wins again. Give the assist to Sasha that time.
Match #4: Bray Wyatt vs. Braun Strowman
I know on paper this looks like Bray’s gonna get dominated. But hear me out. Apparently last Friday Bray tried to use his Jedi mind trick to get Braun to join him again. That makes me think Bray’s gonna find a way to win this. I know Braun is a huge man, but Bray is not a small man by any means, and he won’t go quietly. Bray tumbles to the outside and Braun goes for his running shoulder tackle, but much like a matador, Bray sidesteps total disaster and Braun crashes over the announcer’s table. One of Bray’s puppets shows up in the crowd to cheer him on. Suddenly Bray is in control. Don’t let this act fool you everybody, Bray Wyatt has a real mean streak. Bray seems to be upset that he has to put Strowman through this, but this is a title match, so I’m sure he’ll move on. Bray Wyatt comes out of nowhere with a tornado DDT! I didn’t even know he knew that move! Sister Abigail to Braun, but he kicks out at two.
Bray’s about ready to put Strowman down, but he hesitates briefly and now Braun has time for a comeback. Back to the outside and Bray takes a huge shoulder tackle. Bray gets the jump on Strowman as he’s entering the ring; Braun comes back wearing his old sheep mask. Bray loves it! Has Braun joined back up with Bray Wyatt? Looks like it, they’re hugging and everything! BUT WAIT. It’s a double-cross! Braun was playing him the whole time! What a rascal. Braun wins with the powerslam. Sorry Bray, looks like you’ll have to call up the Fiend for this one.
Match #5: Drew McIntyre vs. Seth Rollins
This is the Universal title match! Seth Rollins comes to the ring, complete with a new entrance. Good news, cause I think we were all getting sick of that burn it down nonsense. This isn’t rocket science, we all know Seth can’t match Drew’s power. But he is clever and willing to bend the rules, despite his altruistic persona. Drew’s kicking Seth’s ass all over the place in the beginning, but you can’t count Rollins out! Even so, it seems like he’s off his game. Maybe he’s realizing he bit off more than he can chew. The ref calls for a clean break in the corner, but Seth answers with a closed fist to Drew’s face! That’s a frowned-upon tactic, but I’ll allow it! Let’s go, Seth! Rollins is eventually able to overcome Drew’s initial onslaught and now he’s in control. He’s using submissions and Drew can’t keep up. This match is on the outside now and Seth dismantles the announce table. Repeated knees to the face and Drew decides to sleep it off. Seth goes for a suicide dive, but he gets intercepted and thrown over the announce table.
Drew’s just starting to get warmed up. I can see his leg is really bothering him after everything Seth has done but he’s nowhere near giving up yet. He sets up for the Claymore Kick, but Rollins gets out of dodge. That’s the smartest thing Seth has done in the last couple of months for sure. He doesn’t get away for long. Drew plants him with a nice spinebuster. Good form on that one. Drew goes for Future Shock, but Seth blocks and delivers a superkick. Drew kicks out at ONE! After all this he nowhere near done! Both these guys are tough as hell. They’ll be feeling this tomorrow. Seth goes for a steel chair, and the ref tries to talk him out of using it instead of physically stopping him. Seth goes for the curb stomp but comes up empty. Drew goes to the top rope, but Seth meets him there for the suplex/falcon arrow.
Seth goes for the curb stomp once again, but Drew gives him the Future Shock instead. He only gets two. This match may never end! Drew gives Seth a suplex off the top rope. Man, Seth really flew on that one. Drew goes for the Claymore, but Seth gives him a superkick and curb stomp. I thought this thing was over, but nope! Seth only gets two. Keep going Seth, you’ve almost got him! He looks determined to end this thing now. They each trade big moves, and neither man goes down until Drew gives Seth a Claymore out of nowhere for the win. What a match that was! These guys are gonna be sore for weeks after this. Drew turns to leave, but before he does, he offers Seth a handshake, and Seth returns it. FRIENDSHIP!
Match #6: Money in the Bank!
It’s my understanding that both of these matches will be happening concurrently. This one will be hard to write about in detail. I guess the first one to make it to the roof wins this thing but I have no idea. Asuka gets into the elevator and all the other women have to take the stairs to reach the top. Meanwhile, with the men, AJ Styles has paired off with Otis, Daniel Bryan is with Corbin, and Rey Mysterio is trying to take Aleister Black. Rey Mysterio runs by the bathroom and meets Brother Love coming out. Wow man, not much else to say about that one. The men fight into another elevator as the women are tripping over each other to reach the top of the stairs. Daniel Bryan kicks the shit out of Otis and Baron Corbin and leaves before Doink shows up for a cameo. This is ridiculous! Dana Brooke flattens Nia Jax with a chair and claims the first briefcase. Or so she thinks! Stephanie McMahon teleports in to tell Dana the briefcase is in the roof. Didn’t she pay attention when they went over the rules in the beginning?
Next up, Styles is looking for Mysterio but instead runs into a big poster with Undertaker on it and starts having flashbacks from the Boneyard match. He looks in the next room to find a big coffin. Aleister Black roundhouse kicks him and leaves him alone in the spooky room. Everybody charges into catering, where Paul Heyman’s just trying to enjoy his dinner. Otis throws a plate full of nachos into Heyman’s face and now we have a full-on food fight. Nia powerbombs Carmella through the catering table. She and Otis come face to face now. I can feel the sexual tension from here. Otis was about to win this thing until he wandered into a room full of pies. They look to be blueberry. John Laurinaitis shows up and gets pied. Daniel Bryan and Aleister Black are still going at it in one of the stairwells while some dramatic music plays in the background. And now for the coup de grace: They end up in Vince McMahon’s office! He’s pissed and kicks them all out. Bryan and AJ argue about who’s the bigger coward. This is like the fight with the giant chicken, I’m pretty sure none of these guys even remember what they’re fighting about. Corbin lays out Styles and says he’s going for the roof.
The women are already there. Now we have a more traditional ring and ladders set up. After some back and forth, Asuka is trying to climb the ladder before Corbin shows up and tries to stop her for some reason. The men’s briefcase is still hanging up there! Otis goes for it but he’s too heavy to climb up. Aleister Black gives him the Kick of Death. Black and Mysterio tangle over the ladder. AJ shoves them both down. Corbin throws Mysterio and Black off the roof! Does this mean they’re dead?! Corbin just murdered them both! Styles knocks out Otis and goes for the briefcase, but Corbin is there to block him. That makes way more sense. Styles and Corbin both unhook the briefcase, but neither of them has control so I guess anybody can just walk right up and take it. Elias shows up and bops Corbin with his guitar. The briefcase flies through the air and Otis catches it and WINS! I called it! I told you guys Otis would win!
My Final Thoughts on Money in the Bank 2020
All the other matches were all passable at worst and great at best, but what was that main event about? Some people will watch it and think it sucked, but I really enjoyed it. I thought it was fun and entertaining, and I’m happy for Otis too. He’s somebody the audience got behind totally organically, the higher-ups took notice, and now he’s being rewarded for all of his hard work. I look forward to seeing how it goes for him. Seriously, why did Corbin try to stop Asuka from getting the girl’s briefcase? Was he trying to win them both for himself? Did he have a dog in this fight? I don’t even know anymore, but I will be back tomorrow for RAW. It’s good to be back again!