Monday Night RAW Review # 17 (4/13/2020) by Anthony S. DiSalvatore
Welcome back to my weekly WWE Raw results and review 4/13/20! Not sure what they have planned this week, but I can confirm that this is the first live episode they’ve had in several weeks! For that reason, I’m excited! Anything can happen on live TV!
Last week’s episode was a little strange since Drew McIntyre’s title defense against Big Show was taped the same day as Wrestlemania, and then aired the next day.
No more of that, the show’s live now! The main hook tonight is the women’s Money in the Bank competitors will be decided over a series of singles qualifying matches. Let’s see what happens next.
The show opens with Drew McIntyre. It’s a textbook babyface promo thanking the fans for their support. It seems out of character for Drew, since he was acting like he didn’t care what anybody thought not long ago. Drew gives us a recap of his title defense against Big Show, and then Andrade shows up.
I’m not a fan of his, but I do love Zelina Vega. Any time she gets a chance to be on, I’m happy. You know what this means: it’s time for another Zelina Vega Outfit Watch! Her outfit this week is gorgeous as usual, but it hurts my eyes because her dress is whiter than Sheamus. Is Andrade STILL the US champion? He’s been suspended, he’s been injured, and he’s still the champion! He must have pictures or something. Zelina Vega’s the total package. She’s beautiful, she can talk her ass off, and she can work in the ring too. Why don’t they let her go off on her own? She’s proven she doesn’t need Andrade at this point.
Match #1: Asuka vs. Ruby Riot
I could be wrong, but I think this is the first singles match for Ruby since she came back from her injury. Asuka starts this match by yelling in Japanese again. Is this his gimmick? It’s important to note that Kairi Sane has her own qualifying match later on against Nia Jax. I can’t see both Asuka and Kairi qualifying for the ladder match at the same time. I’m interested in Ruby Riot winning and getting a chance, mostly because I’m tired of Asuka being involved in every title match ever. A change once in a while is nice. Unfortunately, it’s not to be. Asuka wins with the crossface chickenwing. As for the match itself, it was nothing spectacular, and it didn’t need to be since this was just the opener. I guess they’ve just given up on Ruby since the Riot Squad disbanded.
Match #2: Aleister Black vs. Oney Lorcan
I don’t know who Oney Lorcan is, but at first glance, he looks a lot like Cesaro. He’s a little small, but he’s still in good shape and he appears to know what he’s doing, so he’s okay by me. This match was short, but it didn’t lack intensity. This was a perfect example of a match that can be hard-hitting and intense but didn’t have to last twenty minutes either. Take notes Omega! Aleister Black wins with the Kick of Death. He’s asked what his game plan is for next week when he meets Austin Theory, and he says his plan is to win. How weird! He and Theory have the same plan! No matter what happens, I’d like to see more of Oney Lorcan. Look, everybody, I just put over a smaller guy! See? I don’t just like big powerful guys. Moving on!
BUT WAIT! This is Monday Night RAW, so we just CAN’T have a show without Becky getting some face time! She’s out here for a promo and I didn’t hear a word she said the entire time. I think the basic idea is that she pretends to be arrogant just to catch her opponents off guard in the ring. Not sure how that’s supposed to work, but I’m thinking she’s just arrogant. Zelina Vega shows up for another promo backstage to put over her man Andrade. Even though I don’t like this guy, I admire her effort. This girl has some real talent. And I love her outfit! Next!
Match #3: Sarah Logan vs. Shayna Baszler
This one shouldn’t last long! Sarah is always game for any opponent, but she’s not in Shayna’s league. This is the first match for Shayna since her loss against Becky at Wrestlemania. I’d consider that a major upset, and Shayna’s not playing around. After a takedown, Sarah’s trying to get up when Shayna stomps her on the arm. Sarah can’t continue and Shayna wins via ref stoppage! I guess she’s in the ladder match! Keep the change! After this, Seth Rollins is backstage for a brief promo addressing Kevin Owens. And by brief, I mean like two or three sentences. Too bad Seth can’t get more face time, they don’t seem to have a problem giving Becky all the time she wants.
Match #4: Austin Theory vs. Akira Tozawa
This will be my first time seeing Austin Theory by himself. From what I’ve heard, this kid is super young. But he’s definitely in shape. And guess who’s on commentary for this thing? That’s right, it’s Zelina Vega again. She’s killing it tonight! I could listen to her read the phone book and it would be entertaining. I was confused by her having multiple clients, but now that I’m thinking about it lots of guys in the 80s had multiple people they managed, so I’m cool with it. More Zelina Vega is always a good thing. Austin’s style is slow and methodical, which I always appreciate because it’s much easier to tell a story that way, with much less risk to you and your opponent. Smart wrestling! Austin wins this match with his version of a TKO. Between this and Lacey Evans using the Wild Thing, they better be sending Marc Mero a nice check!
Match #5: Angel Garza vs. Tehuti Miles
That’s it, Angel Garza is on the show! That means if you’re playing Zelina Vega Client Bingo at home, you’ve won! Angel Garza wins this one with the Wing Clipper. Not sure I like that move, but it’s still better than everybody stealing Andrade’s DDT. Andrade and Austin Theory show up for a post-match beatdown on Garza’s opponent.
Match #6: Kairi Sane vs. Nia Jax
I sure hope Kairi Sane’s health insurance is paid up! Kairi tries to throw herself at Nia in the very beginning to no effect. Kairi is dancing and Nia is NOT impressed. This match ends with a gorilla press slam into a Samoan drop by Nia. Wow, that was brutal. Nia Jax is BACK and she’s not playing games.
Up next is a Charlotte promo. Josh DeBord (the Oates to my Hall) is loving this! She’s basically here to gloat about winning the NXT title. Why she’d be bragging about taking a demotion is beyond me, but there’s not much left for her to do at this point. The general idea is Charlotte invented women’s wrestling and she won’t be happy until she can beat every single woman in the company, up to and including Stephanie McMahon. Right now, we have an office poll going on who would win in a fight between Charlotte and Thanos. Charlotte is leading with 53% of the vote.
Match #7: Bobby Lashley (w. Lana) vs. No Way Jose
My ears are already ringing before this thing even starts. Either it’s the roar of tinnitus or Lana is nearby! If you remember, Bobby lost his match to Aleister Black at Wrestlemania because Lana wouldn’t shut up. She tries to give him directions again (as if she knows how to wrestle), but Bobby isn’t having it right now. He exits the ring and tells her to shut the hell up. He wins this match with a spear. I don’t know if I brought this up a couple of weeks ago, but I like Bobby’s pants.
Match #8: Viking Raiders vs. Cedric Alexander & Ricochet
This is the first time the Vikings have been on in ages! I thought maybe one of them got hurt or something. I still think this Viking thing has run its course. I actually like Cedric and Ricochet as a team too. They should complement each other nicely. They even have matching ring gear now! I guess that means they’re going all the way with this thing. I’m most excited for Cedric Alexander, I think he’s the most well-rounded competitor in this match. He sold his ass off in this thing! The Vikings win with a slingshot powerslam.
Main Event: Andrade vs. Drew McIntyre
Here’s the match we’ve spent the entire night building up to. Andrade may be a charisma vacuum, but even knowing that this match looks promising. They only have ten minutes, so whatever they’re gonna do, it better be quick! Don’t forget, Andrade also has his entire crew with him. Andrade comes out looking to make a statement, but it doesn’t even register to Drew. This match is all McIntyre until Andrade’s friends get involved. Andrade tries to get ahead by working the arm, but it’s not working. Drew looks super strong here. He’s not just dealing with Andrade in the ring, he’s also holding his own against everybody on the outside. Drew wins with the Claymore, complete with the unnecessary countdown! Seth Rollins shows up and lays out Drew with a superkick! He’s been doing promos backstage, and now he’s made his next target clear: he’s going for Drew’s title.
My Final Thoughts on RAW (4/13/2020)
This was a great show! Lots of wrestling, interspersed with some promos that didn’t take forever to get to the point. This is exactly what you can do with a show that’s three hours long. Ricochet and especially Cedric looked great against the Vikings. They may have lost, but at least they put up a fight. Seth Rollins and Drew McIntyre will be an interesting rivalry. I’m waiting for another hilarious divorce segment between Bobby Lashley and Lana. Looks like Andrade and his crew are taking over the entire show, and I’m all for it because I get to see Zelina Vega more on every show! It’ll be hard for them to top this next week, but I’ll be here to cover it no matter what happen