Welcome to another Raw review, everybody! Last week was the Randy Orton show, as he won two matches on the night including the triple threat main event to qualify for another rematch against Drew McIntyre! Tonight, Keith Lee Watch continues! What will he do next? Will they let him talk again, or will he just be a wrecking machine? Drew McIntyre’s out for an undisclosed period of time. Will he be forced to give up the WWE title? Happy Labor Day everybody! Let’s see what happens next.
The show opens once again with Randy Orton. Randy’s rightly pissed that he hasn’t gotten his rematch against Drew McIntyre yet. He feels he deserves a rematch anyway, but just to prove a point, he disposed of Kevin Owens, Seth Rollins, and Keith Lee. Will Drew recover from his injuries in time to defend against Randy Orton? Nobody seems to know yet. Randy’s devised the most elegant solution to this problem: hand him the title! Why not? He’s already beaten, everyone. Suddenly, we hear ambulance sirens, but it’s not Big Poppa Pump, it’s Drew McIntyre! Apparently he’s been cleared to drive and wrestle just two weeks after Randy kicked him in the head multiple times! He’s got recuperative powers that Thor would be jealous of. Randy takes a Claymore kick and this segment’s over. Drew’s asked to leave the arena, as he isn’t medically cleared to be there.
Apollo Crews, Ricochet, & Cedric Alexander vs. The Hurt Bizness
Are we caught in a time warp? How many times have we had this exact match? I saw a situation exactly like this once in Nightmare 4 where the final girl was trapped in a looping nightmare. This match starts and the Hurt Bizness has some new ring gear, complete with shirts with lettering that looks suspiciously like the RSH lettering, but that’s neither here nor there. It’s all Hurt Bizness in this one. Apollo’s taking all the heat from Bobby and Shelton, but he answers with a kick and Shelton goes down. Cedric Alexander suddenly turns around and starts beating the shit out of Ricochet, then lays out Apollo. Shelton wins with Paydirt. Looks like Cedric is running with the Hurt Bizness now, but I’m not sure about this. It doesn’t suit his character, like casting Tom Hanks to play a serial killer. It could work, but he’ll have to get a lot more aggressive to pull this off. I like Cedric a lot, and this is totally the right move if he wants more screen time. I’m all for it!
A-Team vs. Street Prophets
It’s starting to feel more and more like I’m caught in a time warp. I’ve seen this match no less than five times now. Zelina Vega is gorgeous, but she can’t save this. Andrade and Garza are back to bickering now and Garza leaves. Andrade loses to the mega frog splash. Somebody call Randy Orton again! All he had to do was threaten to kill Garza last time and he was fine for a few months afterward. After this match ends, the CONspiracy Victims show up! It’s a cross-brand showdown! Cesaro and Nakamura are here to show them what real champions look like. Nakamura hates basketball and ninjas! CONspiracy Victims vs. Street Prophets next week! Nakamura steals their catchphrase and they leave. Mic drop!
Peyton Royce vs. Billie Kay?!
Is this really happening? The Iconics explode?! Wow, man. I wasn’t ready for this. First Nakamura and Cesaro show up, now this? We get a slap fight and some basic wrestling. These girls are still learning. Peyton has a pretty nice roundhouse kick. This match doesn’t last long before Peyton wins with her spinning suplex. I guess they’re going with Peyton as a singles wrestler, but that doesn’t stop her from making peace with Billie after the match is over.
Up next is Rey Mysterio’s entire family for a promo. I usually hate things like this. Part of me wants Punk to show up and scare Rey’s children again. Dominik tries to speak and gets cut off by Buddy Murphy on the big screen. He blames Dominik entirely for kicking Seth in the face during their match at Payback. Buddy challenges Dominik to a street fight and Dominik accepts.
Asuka & Mickie James vs. Natalya & Rusev’s Wife
Rusev’s wife might be the worst thing to happen to women’s wrestling since Sable. Good to see Mickie in the ring again. She still looks fantastic. I had the biggest crush on her when she started. Mickie ends up in the wrong corner and gets double teamed. Rusev’s wife goes for the pin and Asuka makes the save. When Mickie finally gets to her corner, Asuka isn’t there, but she tags in and gets the submission with the chicken wing. Mickie did all the work and Asuka tagged in for the win? Kind of a heel move by Asuka there. These two will wrestle for the title next week.
VIP Lounge: Featuring Cedric Alexander!
Time to make it official! Cedric gets a new shirt and everything! Shelton seems suspicious. Cedric’s letting all his emotions out in this promo. He was doing a pretty good job until the Vikings show up with Apollo and Ricochet.
Hurt Bizness vs. Viking Raiders & Ricochet & Apollo Crews
It’s good to see the Hurt Bizness taking over the entire show! These guys should be front and center while Drew’s not on the card. MVP’s taking all the heat. The more I think about it, adding Cedric was a great idea. With him in the fold, MVP won’t have to take as many bumps any more and Cedric gets a lot more face time. Cedric basically got tired of getting beat up all the time, so he joined the dark side. I don’t blame him! What kind of idiot would be ok with getting beat up every single week? Erik tags in and goes for a comeback, but Bobby spears him. Shelton’s in charge now, but he can’t get the pin yet.
These guys might be bad, but they have great teamwork! Cedric finally tags in and puts the boots to Erik before he tags back out to Shelton. The beatdown just never ends! Erik knees Shelton in the face and both guys are down. MVP and Ricochet are in now and Ricochet does a pretty good comeback. Cedric distracts and MVP hits him from behind. Everything breaks down and Ivar does a suicide dive. Ricochet goes for the Flippity Flop (trademark), but Cedric moves and gives Ricochet a Michinoku driver. Ricochet kicks out at two, but the ref missed it so Cedric wins!
Randy Orton vs. Keith Lee
I know they’re protecting Keith Lee right now, but I just can’t see him beating Randy Orton flat in the ring again. Orton immediately bails to start the match, just as he did last week. Great heel move. Orton can’t seem to get the upper hand, but then he pokes Keith in the eye. Randy goes for the RKO, but he’s not strong enough to bring Keith down to the mat. He needs to rethink his strategy. Keith Lee goes for the shoulder block on the outside again, but Randy moves, and Keith smashes into the barricade wall. After Keith gets back in, Randy jumps on him immediately, but Keith isn’t about to give up. Randy tries to wear Keith down with a rear chinlock, but Keith powers out. Randy tries for the RKO again but comes up empty. Keith does a pretty nice powerslam, but he only gets two. Orton’s been selling his jaw for this entire match because of what Drew did to him earlier. Randy nails the RKO, but Drew shows up and Claymores him again. They’re running out of adjectives to describe Drew tonight. He was asked to leave the building earlier, but I guess it’s not happening.
Up next is another RAW Underground segment featuring Kevin Owens and Aleister Black. They both take a tumble outside the ring while Shane McMahon runs around and screams. Normally I wouldn’t bother covering this, but I do it just for the sake of being thorough for those of you who are interested. Next is a series of handicap matches featuring the new ladies tag team champions!
Shayna Baszler vs. Riot Squad
How is this fair? How are the Riot Squad not heels in this? Apparently Nia made a comment in passing that she could wreck both of these women if she wanted, which is true, and now they both have handicap matches? Way to stack the deck! Ever since Shane came back everything’s been a mess. Ruby starts this match, and it’s important to mention that the opposing team is required to tag out. Shayna applies a wristlock and turns into a suplex while still holding on. Very nice! Ruby’s out of her element in this one. Liv Morgan tags in, and it takes both girls just to slow Shayna down. Nia is out here saying a bunch of shit, but in a weird sort of way, it looks to be motivating Shayna. Shayna goes for something, but she gets rolled up and pinned by Liv Morgan! Wow, who did she piss off? Nia’s up next! I’m enjoying watching the relationship between these two so far.
Nia Jax vs. Riot Squad
Ruby starts this match too and once again, she’s out of her element. Liv tags back in and targets Nia’s knees. Not a bad move there, but they still can’t bring Nia down. Every time Ruby tries to get some momentum, Nia overpowers her with ease. Nia tries to stomp Ruby’s arm like Shayna always does, but it backfires. Liv and Ruby team up to take Nia down, but the lights go black and the Men in Black show up! They’ve masked their voices, but it’s not that well done. Somebody on the internet will identify all of their voices before this show’s over.
Randy Orton’s trying to leave the arena and here comes Drew McIntyre again. They keep saying Drew has a broken jaw, but he hasn’t sold shit all night. Meanwhile, Orton has sold the Claymore like a sniper rifle headshot three different times.
Dominik vs. Buddy Murphy: STREET FIGHT!
This match starts right away with Buddy blasting Dominik right in the face. He’s out to prove a point to Seth Rollins. The announcers forgot to mention that Buddy apparently has the attention span of a squirrel because he gets distracted by something in the distance and Dominik promptly lays him out with a clothesline. They fight their way up the stage and Dominik ends up jumping off the screens with a cross body and we go to commercial.
When we come back, Buddy’s assumed his usual position as the whipping boy. Dominik’s kicking his ass all over the arena. This is embarrassing! Dominik gets slammed headfirst into the steel ramp and it looks like Buddy may actually get some offense in this thing. Buddy grabs a chair and smashes Dominik with it. He’s got him dead to rights now! Dominik gets tied up in the ropes again and Buddy grabs the stick, but he’s not able to hit Dominik with it. Does he work for Dr. Evil or something? What a buffoon! Dominik does a SWEET sliding powerbomb on the outside through a conveniently placed table. Next thing I know, Buddy’s tied up in the ropes and Dominik’s entire family’s taking turns hitting him with sticks. This is pretty sad to watch. All I hear is how good Buddy Murphy is, but I have yet to see it. At least they didn’t all throw him into a pool, that would be ridiculous. The show goes to black with Buddy Murphy getting his ass kicked.
My Final Thoughts on RAW (9/7/2020)
If Drew McIntyre’s fully recovered from three punts in just two weeks, Orton better recover from his injury even sooner. Buddy Murphy’s looked like Shemp for a long time during this rivalry between Seth and Dominic. But on the positive side, I’m very happy to see Cedric with the Hurt Bizness!Suddenly I don’t look so silly putting him in my Top 25 wrestlers of the year! If you enjoyed this review, you can find me live on Facebook this Wednesday talking about AEW as it happens. After the end of All Out, which I’ve refused to talk about for several days now, what will I have to say about the treatment of MJF? Tune in to find out!