Raw In Review: 08/05/2019
Raw opened up with a minute of silence for the victims and loved ones in the Dayton, Ohio and El Paso, Texas mass shootings that took place last week. We here at All Everything Entertainment extend our deepest condolences to the families of the victims and wish a speedy recovery to all those injured.
Samoa Joe would open up Raw going after the announce team, blaming them for the negative image that he’s been receiving after Roman Reigns was mysteriously attacked last week on Smackdown. An attack that WWE has announced as an accident this past Friday. That didn’t stop Joe from telling people in the arena how things were going to go down that night. He wanted an apology from Roman Reigns (even though he should be demanding it from the WWE social media team).
The first match of the night would be Becky Lynch and Charlotte Flair vs. Natalya and Trish Stratus. A match that would’ve been pretty solid, if it didn’t end up being a long push for Natalya for Summerslam. Natalya would get put through the wringer with Flair, but after a blind tag by Lynch, Flair would cheap shot Lynch, giving Natalya the push she needed to lock in the Sharpshooter and refusing to let go, even after the referee counted to five.
Stratus, who didn’t see a second of in-ring action, would end up trying to break the hold, but Natalya would turn on her and shove her out of the way. Stratus had no reason to be there. The same effect could’ve been done with, literally, any other female talent who hasn’t seen a minute of TV time in months.
Mysterio would face-off against Andrade in a rematch after Andrade ripped his mask off last week during the gauntlet match, and much like their previous matches, this was the best match of the evening. The chemistry that these two have is mind-boggling sometimes. Unfortunately, Andrade would pick up the win with his Hammerlock DDT after interference from Zelina.
The interference from Zelina is starting to get old, especially since I want to see Andrade become a name in the business. It doesn’t matter how great a match is with Andrade, with Zelina constantly interfering, he’s unable to break through the glass ceiling that he’s currently at. Had he won clean tonight, it would’ve been a huge push.
A video package of Mike Kanellis winning the 24/7 Title and then losing it to his wife, lead to a segment where Mike and Maria were waiting in what WWE was trying to pass off as an OBGYN office somewhere backstage. Mike would pin Maria for the title, but a disguised R-Truth would win it back after tossing a baby doll in the air, distracting Mike long enough to win with the roll-up.
Brock Lesnar would come down to the ring with Paul Heyman and Paul would recap what happened last week between Brock and Seth Rollins. A bandaged Seth Rollins would limp down to the ring with a chair in hand to get his revenge, but Brock would pick him apart once more. After it was all said and done, Seth would give this speech about how WWE was his life and how the Universal Title was worth getting ripped apart by Brock Lesnar weekly.
In the long run, a very pointless segment with Kurt Angle and The Street Profits would take place backstage as Kurt was set to be the special referee for a match between Drew McIntyre and Cedric Alexander. He would cheer the Street Profits with a glass of milk before McIntyre would remind him what happened in their last match and what would happen if he didn’t call the match down the middle.
The reason why this was pointless was because after Kurt got into the ring and Alexander was on his way out, McIntyre would jump Alexander from behind and start picking the man apart. Alexander would fight back, delivering a DDT on the ramp, but then the lights went out and The Fiend Bray Wyatt was in the ring, delivering the Mandible Claw on Angle. It would all end with the recording laugh of Bray Wyatts.
The Viking Raiders would have ANOTHER. GODDAMN. SQUASH. MATCH!
The New Day would face off against The O.C in a tag match that was over before it even began with AJ Styles attacking Xavier Woods from behind. The three members of the only club that matters would pick apart The New Day briefly before Ricochet charged the ring, turning the tag match into a six-man tag match, which much like the initial match, would get chaotic, and The O.C would pick up the win with The Magic Killer on Xavier Woods.
Another video package of what happened to Roman Reigns last week would lead into Samoa Joe calling out Reigns for his apology, only to learn that Reigns hadn’t even arrived yet. He would go into the back lot and see Reigns pull in. The two would square off, but Reigns would suddenly dive back into his car as another car would slam into his. After the commercial break, Joe would break “kayfabe” and keep an eye on Reigns until medics arrived, but once again, Reigns would walk away.
A Fatal Four-Way Elimination Match for the WWE Women’s Tag Team Titles would take place with The Kabuki Warriors (still hate the name) vs. Many Rose and Sonya Deville vs. Alexa Bliss and Nikki Cross vs. The IIconics.
The IIconics, surprisingly, would dominate the first part of the match, but even with all their momentum, they would be the first team eliminated, guaranteeing us new champs by match’s end. Rose and Deville would be eliminated next by The Kabuki Warriors, who would then be eliminated by Cross and Bliss. Bliss would give Kairi Sane a solid right cross and then deliver the Twisted Bliss for the win, once again proving that WWE, be it Vince McMahon or Paul Heyman, have no idea what to do with Japanese champions.
The final segment would be The Miz hosting another episode of MizTV, where he would sign his contract against Dolph Ziggler for Summerslam. He would welcome down Shawn Michaels and Dolph Ziggler, who would say that he was a walking legend, and then blindly sign the contract fr his match at Summerslam. The only problem with this was that Ziggler wasn’t facing The Miz or Michaels at Summerslam, he was facing the only other person he had been insulting these last few weeks: Goldberg.
Goldberg would come down to the ring, sign the paperwork, and let Ziggler know that he was next.
Heartbreak and anger over the fact that The Kabuki Warriors aren’t Women’s Tag Team Champions aside, this was a decent Raw. It wasn’t the best, but it was decent. I give the going home episode of Raw and three of five stars.